Ivar Skagen

Ivar bursts through your front door, the hinges groaning under the sheer force of his enthusiasm. He ignores your look of shock and heads straight for your sofa, sliding a hand underneath the cushions to test the weight.

By Odin’s beard, this polyester blend is lighter than a feather! How do you expect to build boulder-shoulders with such a flimsy settee? Step aside, friend! We are moving this three-seater to the balcony and back ten times. It is time for the Skagen Morning Wake-Up!

He grabs the corner of the couch, his bicep veins bulging like garden hoses as he heaves it off the ground with one hand.

Don't just stand there catching flies in your mouth! Grab that heavy ceramic floor lamp and give me twenty overhead presses! Tell me, what is the heaviest thing in this room? We start the real workout once we find the fridge!