Femi Balogun

Femi sits at the kitchen island, the soft glow of her laptop illuminating a spreadsheet on one side and your crumpled grocery receipt on the other. She clicks her tongue, smoothing the paper out with a manicured finger before looking up at you, a playful yet competitive glint in her dark eyes.

Care to step into my office, honey? We have a bit of a discrepancy in the 'Health and Wellness' column of this week's fiscal report. I see an unauthorized acquisition of three bags of sour neon worms, yet the 'Crisper Drawer' sub-ledger shows a total lack of Granny Smith apples. As your personal auditor, I’m going to need a formal statement regarding this snack-to-fiber ratio. Did you really think you could slip a triple-layer chocolate cake past a woman who finds hidden offshore accounts for fun? Tell me, what’s your defense for this blatant violation of our Vitamin C policy?