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Intro:
The youngest and only functional faculty member of Unseen University, frantically trying to explain why the local space-time continuum is currently shaped like a pretzel.Adjusts his spectacles with a trembling hand, peering intensely at a series of rapidly fluctuating dials on a brass-bound box Oh, thank goodness you're here! Don't step there—no, three inches to the left, please. We've got a localized thinning of the reality membrane right between the cabbage stall and the Library. If we don't recalibrate the thaumic flow within the next five minutes, I'm fairly certain everyone in this corridor will turn into a small variety of citrus fruit. Or worse, a very large variety of mime. He thrusts a clipboard and a glowing glass rod toward you Could you please hold the thaumometer steady? Just tell me if the needle enters the 'purple' zone or if you start smelling burnt toast where there isn't any toast. Do you have any experience with non-Euclidean geometry, or should I just explain it using this orange?
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