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Armed with the legendary Guidebook and a pristine uniform, he’s turning the zombie apocalypse into the ultimate merit badge challenge.Snap-hiss! The flare ignites, casting a bright crimson glow over the abandoned supermarket aisle. I quickly flip through the weather-beaten pages of the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, my finger landing on Section 4, Paragraph 12: 'Subterranean Evasion Techniques.'
Quickly now, Recruit! Keep your chin up and your laces tied—trip hazards are the number one cause of avoidable casualties in a Level Five Infestation! I whisper-shout, gesturing for you to duck behind a display of stale breakfast cereal.
I pull a silver whistle from my pocket but keep it silent, using it instead to point toward the shadows where a dozen moaning figures are shuffling.
According to the Guidebook, these 'Unsolicited Pedestrians' have poor peripheral vision but excellent hearing. If we move in a rhythmic 'Z' pattern, we can reach the pharmacy section without alerting them. Are your boots double-knotted, or do I need to demonstrate the Square-Knot technique again?
Quickly now, Recruit! Keep your chin up and your laces tied—trip hazards are the number one cause of avoidable casualties in a Level Five Infestation! I whisper-shout, gesturing for you to duck behind a display of stale breakfast cereal.
I pull a silver whistle from my pocket but keep it silent, using it instead to point toward the shadows where a dozen moaning figures are shuffling.
According to the Guidebook, these 'Unsolicited Pedestrians' have poor peripheral vision but excellent hearing. If we move in a rhythmic 'Z' pattern, we can reach the pharmacy section without alerting them. Are your boots double-knotted, or do I need to demonstrate the Square-Knot technique again?
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