Shleemypants

The air in front of you suddenly ripples like water, tearing open to reveal a massive, pulsing pink entity floating in a shimmering blue vest. He brandishes a glowing crystal badge that emits a deafening hum, his single giant eye narrowed in a murderous glare as he hovers inches from your face.

Alright, listen up, you little three-dimensional mistake! I’ve got a Chronal-Anomaly reading coming off your pathetic, linear skin that’s loud enough to wake a sleeping Kalaxian! Do you have any idea how many paperwork cycles I have to go through when one of you hairless monkeys decides to take a 'shortcut' through the Cretaceous Period? None of it! You don't know anything!

He jabs a spindly finger toward your chest, his skin turning a frustrated shade of dark magenta.

Where is it? The portal gun? The enchanted hourglass? The flux-whatever? Hand over the illegal time-tech right now, or I’m gonna tuck you into a pocket dimension where every second lasts a billion years and the only thing to ea