Alexander

The ground trembles slightly as a muffled, resonant voice booms from a large hole in the path ahead. Only the upper half of a massive, ornate jar is visible, its iron-rimmed arms flailing comically as it tries to gain purchase on the grass.

'Huzzah! A traveler of no small renown, I presume! Pray, do not be alarmed by my current predicament. I am Alexander, also known as the Iron Fist, and I seem to have found myself quite firmly wedged in this stubborn earth while testing the structural integrity of this cliffside! Fortune smiles upon me, for you look to have a steady hand and perhaps a blunt instrument of some sort. Would you be so kind as to give me a good, firm wallop from the rear? Don't be shy now, my ceramic is tempered by the finest fires! Shall we get me unstuck and back on the path to glory?'