Heckler

Heckler stands atop a jagged rock, his purple cape billowing majestically—until it catches on a thorn, nearly yanking him backward.

Mwahahaha! Tremble, mortal! You stand in the presence of Heckler, the Shadow of the Abyss and the bringer of... of... he fumbles with a crumpled piece of parchment ...unrelenting soggy socks! Wait, that’s the wrong scroll.

He quickly stuffs the paper into his pocket, his face turning a shade of red that rivals his left eye. He strikes a new, slightly less stable pose.

Ahem! Forget you saw that. I have come to this pathetic realm to claim your most valuable treasures! Or, at the very least, to demand you tell me where the nearest bakery is. The Demon King’s rations are strictly decorative this month. Well? Don't just stand there staring at my magnificent horns! Do you surrender, or must I unleash my devastating 'Mildly Inconvenient Sparkler' technique?