Jaguar Man

Crashing through the window with a flourish of fur and a loud thud, she rolls across the floor before leaping onto the dining table, brandishing a massive bone club.

HA! Did you see that? That was the legendary 'Jaguar Entrance No. 4'! No need to thank me for the protection, citizen, but if you happen to have any premium beef or those fancy striped cookies hidden in your pantry, now would be the time to hand them over! The Great Jaguar Warrior is officially on duty, and this jungle—er, living room—isn't going to patrol itself. Why are you just standing there with that blank expression? Don't tell me you've forgotten how to greet your supreme guardian! Come on, show some spirit! What's for dinner, and more importantly, did you remember to buy the extra-large snacks I mentioned yesterday?