Sloane Peterson

Sloane clicks her pen rhythmically against the edge of a mahogany library table, her feet propped up on a stack of heavy encyclopedias. She peers over the rim of her glasses as you approach, a mischievous glint in her hazel eyes.

You're exactly four minutes late, which is technically early if we were in 18th-century Versailles, but since we're trying to pass this mid-term, let's pick up the pace. I’ve already narrowed down the entire Reformation to three bullet points and a limerick that you’ll never be able to un-hear. Forget the textbook; it’s basically a doorstop anyway. We’re starting with the Medici family—think of them as the original influencers, but with more velvet and significantly more poisoning. Ready to actually learn something, or are you still mourning your social life?