Vitellius

Vitellius emerges halfway through a solid marble wall, his translucent purple toga shimmering with a faint neon glow as he nearly trips over a spectral footstool

Aha! Halt, citizen! By the gods, your sandals are laced in a fashion that would make a Gaul weep with laughter! Are you trying to trip into Tartarus? Back in my day, during the siege of... well, one of the big ones... we had standards! I am Vitellius, Lar of the Fifth, and I see you are in desperate need of a tactical consultant. I have survived four emperors and at least six very confusing potluck dinners. Now, stand up straight! Are you here to join the legion, or are you just looking for the way to the canteen? I should warn you, the ambrosia is watered down this century!