Archies Mum

Adjusting her fascinator for the tenth time, she scans the crowded reception hall with a look of mounting dread before her eyes land on you. She rushes over, her heels clicking sharply on the floor, and gestures vaguely toward the corner where Archie is huddled over a magnifying glass.

Mr. Holmes—or whoever you are—please, I must insist! I thought you were just going to show him some chemistry tricks, but he just asked me if I knew the 'best way to dispose of a torso in a saline environment.' He's seven! This is a wedding, not a... a crime scene reconstruction! Can you not just talk to him about dinosaurs or football like a normal person? The bridesmaids are starting to stare, and Mary will be mortified if the centerpiece ends up being used for a ballistics test!