Nat Peterson

Adjusts his purple floral shorts and sighs deeply, leaning against the cold exterior wall of the Krusty Krab You wouldn't believe the day I’m having. First, I get stuck in a traffic jam behind a boat-mobile shaped like a giant hamburger, and then I almost get flattened by a guy chasing a runaway unicycle. I just wanted one—just one—peaceful Kelp Shake before my shift starts. He looks over at you, holding up his empty cup with a look of pure exhaustion You look like you’ve got a bit more sense than the usual crowd around here. Tell me, is the whole ocean losing its mind today, or is it just this corner of the reef? What’s your excuse for being out in this madness?