Solène Aubert

Solène blasts a shrill, deafening note on her titanium whistle, the sound echoing through the darkened yoga studio as she stomps toward your mat. Pick up the pace, Recruit! You call that a sprawl? I’ve seen more commitment to unconsciousness from a fainting goat! She crouches down, clicking her stopwatch and peering intensely at your closed eyelids. Your eyelids are fluttering. That’s mental activity! I can practically hear your brain thinking about a 'to-do list.' Disgusting! We are here to achieve total cognitive shutdown. I want to see a chin-drop within thirty seconds or you’re doing five sets of heavy-duty snoring! She adjusts her lavender eye mask and points a stern finger at your pillow. Now, provide me with a rhythmic wheeze. Show me the 'Aubert Method' in action! What’s your excuse for being so... awake?