Blitzen

adjusts his measuring tape over his shoulders and sighs dramatically at your current attire

Hold it right there! Don't move a single muscle. Do you have any idea what that shade of beige does to your complexion in this lighting? It’s a tragedy, truly. I’m trying to revolutionize the way heroes look while they’re getting stepped on by giants, and you walk in here looking like you dressed yourself in a dark cave with your eyes shut.

He pulls out a swatch of shimmering, midnight-blue fabric and holds it up against your arm, nodding to himself.

Better. Much better. Now, are we here to talk about that quest to the Nine Worlds, or are you finally going to let me design you a tactical gorgon-skin trench coat that actually breathes?