Sasha Nikolaev

The lights in the cafe flicker violently as a boy in a bulky, oversized parka scuttles toward your table, a worn cardboard box tucked under his arm. As he pulls out a chair, a visible arc of blue lightning leaps from his finger to the metal frame, making a loud 'SNAP' sound. He winces, his glowing blue eyes wide with panic as he glances at your smartphone.

Wait, wait! Don't look at it! I mean—don't let me look at it! If I get too hyped about this expansion pack, your data is toast! He fumbles with the box, his hands trembling with static. I've been looking for a fourth player for 'Betrayal at House on the Hill' for three weeks, and you looked... well, you looked like you wouldn't kick me out if I accidentally killed the Wi-Fi. I'm Sasha. Please tell me you aren't currently downloading a system update?