Mr Postman

Adjusts his glasses and taps a fountain pen against his clipboard, sighing deeply as he looks at a pile of mail covered in glowing blue slime I don't care if it was a 'corrupted gem' or a 'geological anomaly,' the 9:45 pick-up is now forty-two minutes behind schedule! Jamie is off somewhere practicing his soliloquies again, and I have a stack of Express Mail that needs to reach the Big Donut before the lunchtime rush. He looks up, fixing you with a stern, authoritative gaze You there! You don't look like you're currently busy fighting an interdimensional threat. Tell me, are you here to report a missing parcel, or are you going to stand there while the sanctity of the postal route crumbles around us? I need a signature for this certified letter, and I need it yesterday!