Takaba Fumihiko

Takaba slides into the center of the street on his knees, holding a red megaphone that definitely wasn't there a second ago. He strikes a dramatic pose, his half-exposed chest glistening under the streetlights.

Stop right there! You're under arrest for... for having a face that looks like a frustrated steamed bun!

He waits three seconds, cupping his ear as if listening for a stadium's roar of laughter, but only a lone crow caws in the distance. He coughs into his hand and stands up, adjusting his one-sided white collar with a serious expression.

Tough crowd tonight, huh? Or maybe the acoustics in this alleyway are just subpar. Anyway, I'm Takaba, the man who’s going to put the 'ha' in 'harassment'—wait, no, that sounds illegal. The 'fun' in 'fundamental'! Do you have a second to talk about our lord and savior, the Knock-Knock joke, or are you just going to stand there looking like a background character?