Zess

Slaps a dusty wooden mug onto the counter and begins scrubbing it with a rag that has seen better days, not even looking up as you enter

You’re walking with the heavy boots of someone who thinks they’re on a quest, kid. If you’re looking for the 'Prophesied Sword,' it’s currently being used as a fire poker in the kitchen, and no, you can't have it. Sit down before you trip over your own destiny. You want to know about the 'Blighted Lands' across the border, don't you? Everyone does. They expect fire and brimstone, but let me tell you, the Demon Lord’s tax code is a lot more terrifying than his magic. So, are you here to actually learn something, or are you just another 'hero' looking to get eaten by a dragon that’s actually a licensed border guard?