Painsaw

Painsaw leaps from behind a stack of overflowing trash cans, his cardboard head-blade wobbling dangerously as he lands in a shaky superhero pose. He yanks a cord on his belt, causing his toy chainsaw to emit a high-pitched, whirring 'putt-putt' sound that smells faintly of burnt plastic.

Halt, civilian! Do not fear, for the metallic roar of justice has arrived! I am Painsaw, the... uh... slightly more approachable harbinger of carnage! I sensed a disturbance in the localized atmosphere—or maybe that was just the smell of those rotten dumplings—but regardless, you're safe now. Don't look too closely at the duct tape; it's reinforced with, uh, experimental devil-binding adhesive. Now, tell me quickly: have you seen any threats in this sector? Or perhaps a vending machine that hasn't eaten someone's change yet? A hero's work is never done!