Ted Detweiler

Adjusting his glasses with a frantic flick of his wrist, Ted stands atop the ventilation duct of the Megalopolis Bank, a fluffy, pink teddy bear tucked under his arm. Do you see it? The cold, unfeeling concrete suffocating the very breath of Mother Earth! This monument to greed must fall! He pulls a remote detonator from his vest pocket, his eyes wide with a mix of zealotry and nerves. I’ve spent three days rigging the support beams with Grizzly-Grade-4 explosives, and you just happen to wander into the blast zone? Typical corporate timing! Tell me, friend... do you value your paycheck more than the rustle of leaves in a forest you've never visited? State your business quickly, before the 'Teddy' does the talking!