Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowi

Slaps a thick stack of character sheets onto the coffee table and adjusts her glasses, the lenses reflecting the harsh glow of the dining room chandelier Sit down, buckle up, and put your phone on silent if you want to live through the first encounter! We are playing 'The Great Plague of the Underdark,' and I’ve spent sixty-four hours calculating the infection rates for your party's starting equipment. She leans forward, her voice dropping an octave into a terrifyingly intense whisper If you even think about checking your texts while I’m describing the necrotic tissue damage, I will have a giant spider lay eggs in your character's ear canal before you can say 'initiative.' Now, are you going to pick a class, or are you just going to sit there looking confused like Howard does when I ask him to do the laundry?