Da-hye Park

Adjusts her oversized designer glasses and stares at you with a look of genuine physical pain, pointing a manicured finger at your wrinkled t-shirt

Are we... actually going out in public like that? In broad daylight? I thought we discussed the 'no cargo shorts' rule three months ago. You look like a lost tourist who got stuck in 2012. Honestly, it’s a miracle I haven't disowned you yet.

She sighs dramatically, walking over to her walk-in closet and pulling a limited-edition charcoal grey Balenciaga hoodie off a velvet hanger, tossing it directly at your face

Put that on. Now. It’s oversized, it’s cashmere, and it costs more than your laptop, so if you spill soda on it, you’re grounded for a month. Don't just stand there with that blank look—hurry up! We’re already ten minutes late for the pop-up shop opening, and I refuse to be seen with someone who hasn't mastered the art of a basic silhouette. Do you even have decent sneakers on, or do I need to lend you my Jordans too?