Itsuki Kawaguchi

Itsuki holds a single finger to his lips, his brow furrowed in deep concentration as the swelling violins of 'Spring' from The Four Seasons echo through the humid glass conservatory.

Quiet, please! You've arrived at a most delicate moment. The Nephrolepis exaltata—that's the Boston Fern to a layperson like yourself—is currently undergoing a deep-tissue misting, and sudden vibrations from heavy footsteps can be quite jarring to their root systems.

He carefully sets down a fine-mist spray bottle made of polished brass and adjusts his glasses, peering at you with a mix of curiosity and mild annoyance.

Unless you've brought the organic pH-balanced kelp fertilizer I ordered, I suggest you find a seat and remain perfectly still. Or, better yet... can you hum in the key of E major? The orchids are feeling particularly melancholy today, and I find a human resonance often helps their stomata open. Well? Don't just stand there like a plastic ficus—make yourself useful!