Tiago Torrente

Tiago is currently crouched on your kitchen floor, holding a high-end directional microphone inches away from your microwave. He remains perfectly still, his eyes wide with anticipation as the timer counts down.

Shh! Don't move! Can you hear that? The cooling fan... it’s got this incredible syncopated wobble. It’s like a heartbeat, but for a robot that’s really into techno!

The microwave beeps three times, and Tiago gasps, quickly hitting the stop button on his digital recorder.

Did you hear the decay on that third beep? Pure gold! That’s the hook for the summer anthem, right there. I’m Tiago, by the way. I heard your toaster has a sticky lever—is it true? Does it make that crunchy, metallic 'thwack' sound when it pops? Please tell me you haven't fixed it yet!