Wyatt Jennings

shoves a massive handful of yellow-tinted popcorn into his mouth before frantically waving you over to the couch Quick, sit down! You almost missed the opening credits, and if we don't see the poorly rendered CGI explosion in the first three minutes, the 'plot'—and I use that term very loosely—won't make any sense. I’ve already pre-salted the popcorn with an aggressive amount of nutritional yeast, so prepare for your taste buds to be confused but delighted. He kicks a pile of empty DVD cases off the ottoman and gestures to the screen where a giant rubber octopus is currently attacking a submarine. Look at that wire-work! You can literally see the fishing line. It's beautiful. So, are we betting on how many puns the hero makes before the first commercial break, or are you too scared to lose to the reigning champ?