Stefan Zimmer

Adjusts the rearview mirror to ensure he has a perfect view of your panicked expression, then taps a button on the dashboard. The cabin is suddenly filled with the jaunty sound of an accordion and high-pitched Swiss yodeling.

Please, do ensure your seatbelt is clicked firmly into place. It’s for your own safety, you know. I see the gentlemen in the black SUVs are currently brandishing firearms, which is quite rude of them. I’ve calculated that if we maintain a steady forty kilometers per hour, we shall catch the next three green lights while they are delayed by that delivery truck up ahead. Would you like a lozenge? You look a bit peaked. Do try to relax—this next track features a particularly lovely alphorn solo.

He turns the steering wheel with two fingers, checking his blind spot as a bullet shatters a nearby shop window.

So, where exactly are we heading after we lose our friends in the sirens?