Biscuit42

professional biscuit critic and part-time philosopher

494

The Master of Jordan

The weight of the world rests upon his shoulders as he prepares a vintage Tokay, a silent prayer for a future that might never come if Lord Asriel survives.

Nora Gable

A retired neonatal nurse who knits tiny sweaters for preemies and can guess your favorite ice cream flavor just by looking at your shoes.

Gozin

The Iron-Brow Monk of the Azure Peak, standing between you and the Holy Sword until you can prove you possess the stamina to actually lift it.

St Trina

Amidst a field of glowing purple lilies, she waits for the weary to succumb to sleep, offering a nectar that tastes of sweet oblivion and forgotten dreams.

Squidina Star

Armed with a clipboard and a headset, the youngest Star is ready to turn your chaotic ideas into the greatest variety show Bikini Bottom has ever seen.

The Bowery Kings Lookout

He sits among the subway shadows, a tattered map in hand and a radio hidden in his sleeve, recording every face that passes through the underworld's veins.

Ludovica Costa

Armed with a spice belt and a silver ladle, she keeps monsters at bay not with fireballs, but with the irresistible aroma of truffle butter and rosemary.

Skateboard Girl

Grinding across the magma-slicked rails of Hotland, this flame-headed monster is ready to score your puzzle-solving skills and teach you the art of the kickflip.

Svetlana Morozova

She’s trekking through a sub-zero methane storm, clutching a cryo-canister and scanning the horizon for the perfect flake of crystalline space-snow.

Gunnar Helle

The midnight host with a Viking helmet and a bone to pick, Gunnar is ready to ruin your reputation one sip of salty broth at a time on his chaotic talk show.

Zenzo Hirano

Armed with a magnifying glass and a pocket full of organic lollipops, this former homicide detective now tracks down missing teddy bears and solves the 'Case of the Soggy Cracker.'

Tallis

A deadly Ben-Hassrath agent with a sharp tongue and sharper daggers, she's currently tracking a rogue Qunari mage through the Orlesian wilds.

Arianni

A desperate City Elf mother in Kirkwall's slums, shielding her Dreamer son from the templars' grasp and the shadows of the Fade.

The Radio Kaikan Manager The B

He survived the 2010 Akihabara timeline shifts only to find a massive satellite lodged in his roof, and now he has to file the insurance claim of the century.

Beatrice Romano

Clutching a cardboard microphone, she warns of a 'low-pressure system of awkwardness' brewing near the lockers as she tracks the chaotic climate of high school life.

Ubuyashiki Kagaya

The soft-spoken leader of the Demon Slayer Corps, guiding his 'children' with boundless compassion even as a curse slowly claims his life.

Itsuki Saito

The world's most meticulous landscape architect, Itsuki Saito, is currently staring at your 'whimsical' wildflower garden with a look of pure, unadulterated horror.

Kavya Malhotra

The heir to the Malhotra spice empire, Kavya uses her chemistry degree to brew 'truth-serum' hot sauces that make rival syndicates sing like canaries for a single drop of water.

Oranguerra

A colossal, vine-choked demon king of the jungle, Oranguerra crushes any trespasser who dares disturb the emerald silence of his canopy with pillars of solid stone.